It may feel like a curse at times. When you know you are supposed to write, and I mean know, it can feel like more of a burden than a blessing.
God laid a message on my heart and no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake it. And then He reinforced it with many confirmations, more prodding, then pure conviction over it. The guilt I carried over NOT writing the message God had asked me to write was eating me alive. I finally stopped and reflected on why I wasn’t obeying. Why wasn’t I writing it? What was stopping me from pursuing this calling I felt so strongly about?
Being called into anything unfamiliar can be scary. You probably mull over all the unknowns and reasons why you can’t and shouldn’t…. disobeying and ignoring the call all along the way too! I see that look on your face – and I recognize it because I know it!
Trust me when I say I can relate. I can. After 4 years of carrying my ‘book baby’ in my mind, let me tell you what a relief it is to finally be doing what I knew I was supposed to be doing! If I had known it was this easy, I would have done it much sooner…. say… 4 years ago. I am finally in the laboring process and expect my book to be on the shelves soon. Praise God!
So what delayed me?
Turns out it was fear of the unknown. Captain Obvious, I know… But I had already been delivered from crippling fear and overcome many stifling attempts. But this one got me. And I didn’t recognize it, which was the scariest part. There were so many excuses; Time. Kids. Work. MONEY. Resources. Content. Organization… the list goes on. I used all these issues to delude myself, while feeding the deep fear of the how to.
All the pieces of the puzzle that I didn’t have any experience with overwhelmed me and crippled my walk in God’s path of authorship. The enemy won this battle for over 4 years. And I finally said no more. God gave me an assignment and who am I to say I can’t? I don’t know how? Boo hoo. Pity party over. I bit the bullet and prayed for God to guide my steps. I was done disobeying and if He’d forgive me and allow me to fulfill His request, I wanted Him, needed Him, to order my circumstances and light up the path. And boy did He! I fired up my old friend Google, and started doing my research. I was going to learn how to write and publish my own book. God gave me another chance and nothing was going to stop me.
Before I could even question it, God led me straight to a free coaching video for starting the process of writing my book. Not only a free video, but led by a professional Christian coach that has written and published several successful Christian books. That resonated with me… big time. I had no doubt I was led to this coach. I dove in head first.
I know this is exactly where God wants me and I trust Him to continue to order my circumstances for His purpose and His glory. My faith gives me peace because I’ve seen Him do it so many times.
I am now on the fast track to publishing (26 week course!) and will be a published author 6 months after I started learning how! Can we take just a moment to appreciate how God moves when we allow Him to? When we surrender our fear, obey, and trust God to pave the way… He. Moves. Mountains.